I love how Emma calls out that somehow being single drops you in the Eat. Pray. Love bucket until you’ve done enough growth to ‘deserve’ a partner. We don’t ‘deserve’ partners. We just have them or we don’t. It’s truly that simple.
Being single doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong and married doesn’t mean you did something right.
I would bet most of us single folks, get the ‘focus on yourself’ advice… Build the best you… Build up to be a good partner… These are solid pieces of advice. The growth on you shouldn’t be for someone else though and it doesn’t end when you land yourself a mate. Build yourself up because being the best you is best for you.
Love is something we get, not something we deserve.
Let me tell you something I've learned, (I fully believe that after 31 years of mostly single life, I am an expert in this space) you can't be good enough for love, you can't deserve love. Love is freely given or it is not love. You are good enough for love. You are deserving of love. Just as you are right now. Don't put yourself in self-imposed purgatory over some bullshit about self-growth equals finding love. It doesn't. You know what will get you a partner? I have no idea (I laughed a little when I wrote this) and neither does anyone else. The best part about love is we can't control it - it is and it isn't, it appears out of nowhere and sometimes it goes just as quickly. We can't force it, we can't plan it, we can grow it, but we can't make it stay. Work on being the best you because it feels good for you. Build a life you love so that you get to live it. Take a deep breath and enjoy the single part, love is coming it's just not working on your timetable.
Single & Thriving
I am single and it doesn't mean I am broken, it doesn't mean I am not ready, it doesn't mean I missed my opportunity to partner and it certainly doesn't mean anything is wrong with me. I just haven't met my husband yet, it's that simple.