Porn: A Woman's Perspective

Porn is a word that brings up various emotions for women, often times negative. While pornography is widely embraced by men, it’s still taboo for women.

For adolescent boys, viewing pornography is seen as a rite of passage. Boys sneak into their rooms and stare in awe at the glow of the computer screen. This subject has even been used as storylines for TV shows, such as “Grounded for Life”. The mother shows concern, while the father shows indifference, insinuating that women see porn as negative, while men see it as “normal”.

Xvideos.com, edited by Paige Greco

Xvideos.com, edited by Paige Greco

For men, sexuality can even be a social activity. Flipping through magazines, watching videos, or going to strip clubs are considered acceptable activities to do with friends.  This is so ubiquitous that an episode of “That 70’s Show” portrays Eric and his friends going to an X-rated movie, leaving his girlfriend, Donna, offended. From a young age, sexuality becomes an appropriate topic of discussion. For women, there is still stigma discussing porn and sexuality.

One reason for the stigma is women are not accepted as sexual beings. When a man is promiscuous, his peers praise him. When a woman is promiscuous, both men and women deem her a slut. Sometimes, men even lose respect for women willing to have sex with them too soon. This helps explain why most porn is overwhelmingly misogynistic.

The pervasiveness of misogyny turns many women off while making it difficult for some women to find porn they enjoy.  One woman surveyed said she searches the word “porn” because she isn’t sure how else to find it while noting she thought boys learn how to find porn earlier than girls.

Another roadblock is the prevailing thought amongst women that actresses are degrading themselves. Many women surveyed said they didn’t watch porn because of guilt, assuming the actresses were being belittled or objectified.  While that is sometimes true, there are many actresses who enjoy making porn, and some are produced and/or directed by women.

SquirtingMissy.com, edited by Paige Greco

SquirtingMissy.com, edited by Paige Greco

I surveyed 30 women to get their take on the issue, and how we can break the stereotype.

Women surveyed who didn’t enjoy female-friendly porn have the stereotypical thought that there is too much plot, romance, and sensuality. However, the objective is to empower women and encourage them to embrace their sexuality, whether the porn is romantic softcore or hardcore BDSM. The goal is about respecting the woman and spotlighting her pleasure. The camera shots also differ, often providing more full body and face shots, while avoiding the “money shot” (when the man ejaculates).

ixxx.com, edited by Paige Greco

ixxx.com, edited by Paige Greco

If it were easier to find more porn that was less misogynistic, more women might be willing to watch it. Maybe if the fear of being labeled a slut didn’t exist, women might be more willing to talk about it. Perhaps, if the media stopped perpetuating the stigma, there wouldn’t even be a stigma. Women want the same thing from their porn as men do, to get off.  It’s only fair to make that easier.

As a woman, what do you want from porn or what do you enjoy about porn as it is?