Stahp... Porn Isn't Sex Ed!

WhosIts'N'WhatsIts

IDENTITY: Any | ATTRACTION: Any | EXPRESSION: Any | SEX: Any

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I’m sure you know already that porn is EVERYWHERE. You can start up your computer, use your preferred search engine, type in something as simple as “Girl Next Door” and you guessed it: PORN.

Now I want to make one thing very clear, I am not anti-porn. In fact, I am pretty much the opposite. I think porn can be a great way to explore sexuality and liven up an otherwise dull sexual experience. What I don’t like about porn is how often it is used as education.

Because porn is NOT education, it’s entertainment.  

If you’ve watched porn as much as I have (one perk of being a sexual health professional), you may or may not notice how different porn scenes are to actual, real life sex. I mean, when was the last time you’ve seen someone fart or queef during a porn scene (unless it’s specific to a kink/fetish)? Or when was the last time you watched porn where one partner asked the other to stop because it was becoming uncomfortable or they didn’t feel like they could orgasm? Have you ever seen a porn where the partners discussed what they liked and didn’t like, thus making sure to set boundaries during their sexual experience? And has porn shown partners cuddling after? Crying? Laughing? Being silly and playful in an intimate way? I’m going to venture a guess and say no and the reason for this is because those things really aren’t what porn is meant for. Porn isn’t there to show us what real life sexual experiences are like. It’s there for the sole purpose of sexual entertainment, which is fine, but because there is so much sexual shame in our country and we generally receive minimal sex education (at best), where turning to outlets like pornography to figure out what to expect and what the hell to do.  And if you think it’s okay to ejaculate on someone’s face or be ejaculated on without consent; or you believe that the positions you see during some random clip are comfortable and offer maximum pleasure, you and your partner are at a horrible disadvantage.

So what can we do about it?

Well, first off, use porn for what it’s intended for: something to arouse you and help facilitate your sexual goals. If you have questions about something, look it up using reputable cites. Don’t just assume that because something was done (or seemed to be done) in a pornographic clip, that it’s something you should do or allow to be done to you. Also, consider using non-misogynistic, feminist porn that empowers rather than oppresses.

Sex Education Site: http://www.goodvibes.com/s/content/c/Sexual-Education-Good-Vibrations-How-To

Feminist Porn Resource: http://www.mybodybackproject.com/about-the-clit-list/