"Amber Rose isn't a feminist, she's a hoe." Said my attractive male companion.
"Oh, you mean she wrote a book about being a hoe, had a walk and does videos about being a hoe." He responded.
I paused. I didn't know how to respond to that. I was grasping at straws trying to make an argument because I didn't really know why I bought into her being a feminist or why I felt her involvement was important to the feminist movement. And he was exploiting, rightly so, my lack of clarity and support for my argument.
I begrudgingly conceded to his point and the conversation moved on. It bothered me that I conceded, but my argument sucked and to be more honest than I need to be, I'm attracted to him and had other ideas on how to fill our time that didn't include feminist ranting. I also figured I could have my shot at this argument when I was better prepared for it.
This is the second conversation I’ve had with a straight man about Amber Rose not being a feminist because she is a “hoe”. It made me wonder, why am I adamant to defend her? I don't know her, why do I care if someone discredits her? It also made me wonder, why are these men outspoken and willing to argue to convince me that Amber Rose isn't a feminist? Where does the desire to discredit her come from? I thought about it and thought about it.
A straight man has no idea how important it is to own your sexuality because straight men haven’t had to live without their sexuality. Straight men practically create what is appropriate for the rest of us to have when it comes to sexuality.
Being allowed your own unique, individual, sexual preferences that you act on and speak about isn’t valuable to them since they haven’t lived without it.
I am not going to argue about whether Amber Rose is a hoe or not. Arguments like that are of no value, because “hoe” is subjective, like “slut” or “whore” – they are labels applied by people who define them and label them as they see fit.
What I will argue is that Amber Rose is, in fact, a feminist. By definition, feminism is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. Amber Rose believes and advocates for men and women to have equal rights and opportunities. That makes her a feminist it’s that simple.
My beef with comments like "Amber Rose isn't a feminist, she's a hoe" is that she can be a feminist and a hoe. They aren’t mutually exclusive or dependent on each other in anyway. The only reason for saying such a thing is to discredit her and not for her contributions to the feminist movement, but based on her sexual history. And from men, who are never discredited from anything based on their sexual histories.
I Love Amber Rose Being a Feminist
What I like about Amber Rose is her unapologetic expression of herself. She owns her story.
Her story is a more common one than most of us want to recognize. She was stripping to support her family and herself long before she was 18. By our society's standard, Amber Rose should feel ruined by her past. She doesn’t, and that’s powerful.
Her Message is a Powerful One
Her main platform is one against slut shaming. Slut shaming is ridiculing a woman for her sexual choices and in its core, supporting the disrespect of a woman based on her sexual preferences, past or present. This is something I am sure Amber Rose faces in her daily life, as I am seeing in just having passing conversations about her.
Amber Rose is not ruined by her sexual history or future sexual choices, for that matter. Her sexuality is hers. It’s her to share how and when she wants to share it and that’s a powerful voice for women to have.
If anything, we need more women to feel empowered to own their sexuality.