Note from the Editor: This month on #FemCon the female contributors are writing about the objectification of the female body in mainstream society. The male contributors are writing personal pieces on what they love about the female body. Why? Because women feel more objectified than ever, held to more unattainable standards than ever. And while I am sure every man would tell you they love tits and ass (as would most women), when we dig deeper, we find that men love the female body not as an object, but as a physical expression of that woman. What is sexually desirable about a woman is not the perfect curation of a hairless vagina or a butt with no cellulite or a perfect contour, but the essence of that woman herself. Enjoy, Jazmine Duke, Founder thefemalecondition.com
Judging a female body on its physical characteristics is a purely rational task.
You take 2 teaspoons of whatever your mother looked like, 1 cup of cultural influences during puberty, mix it with the liquid of the in-person experiences you’ve had until the desired consistency is reached and then pour carefully into the current dominant feminine mold in your perception and bake in the oven of your imagination for 2-3 beers and you will have a fresh, detailed image of what a woman “should look like.”
The problem is that this tends to come out as a personalized, sexualized goddess that we will likely never meet.
So let’s get real. What can we expect from a partner, physically speaking? What is a fair physical judgment and what is not? Like so many things, the golden rule comes to mind. Judge others’ bodies as you would have them judge yours. Do you work out 5 times a week and look like a Greek sculpture? Would a major publication pay you money to be photographed? Do you consciously work toward reflecting a physical archetype as you would a fulfilling hobby? If you answered yes to any of these, it is fair to expect that from a potential partner.
With that in mind, I am attracted to women that appear to be “healthy,” even though that is a sterile and un-sexy term. An attractive woman is comfortable in her body. Personal hygiene is absolutely necessary, but makeup should never hide her face. She has a certain physical composure and grace that comes from maintaining a reasonable level of fitness. She is not always fighting against a junk food induced fatigue, but perhaps she eats in a way that makes her feel nourished and energized. When she gets dressed, she picks an outfit that makes her smile. If she needs to try on a few pairs of shoes, that’s fine because I personally put a lot of thought into my shoe choices as well. She walks with her head held high, but not her nose. When standing, she may be aware that there are certain angles that accentuate her figure and she exploits this in a subtle way, then flicks her eyes up quickly to catch any that noticed so she can feign modesty with a secret smile. When sitting, she is a queen on a throne, composed and ready to hold the room at attention or to lean over and whisper a dirty joke to the jester. In conversation, engagement and comfort come to her with ease.
While it is fair for men to have standards that they themselves could live up to, a woman’s personal presence is her most attractive feature, and often it holds more sway than anything physical.