Recently, I found myself spending an above average amount of time hanging out at home, drinking pinot noir, and watching old episodes of Charmed on Netflix. Making adult friends in a city as big and as small as New York hasn't been easy. Though, in all fairness to New York, I haven't been giving it much effort or thought.
As any late 20's/early 30's single lady would, I joined a few social networking apps. I was hoping to meet more cool people and maybe even find a nice gentleman or two to date.
In short order, I got what I was hoping for and was frequently going out on dates. The dates weren't terrible. They weren't great either, but they weren't terrible. In dating, pretty much the worst thing that can happen is getting excited, dressed up, only to get out and not have a good time with the person you are meeting.
There are few things that can actually make a date terrible for me. I enjoy meeting new people and chatting with just about everyone, so unless you are offensive (which does and has happened) or violate my personal space, we are fine to spend time meeting and getting to know each other. The thing that ruins a date and turns it from okay to terrible is breaking into my personal space and touching me.
I’ve been on so many dates that I can basically time it now. Around 30-45 minutes into the date, the guy casually places his hand around my knee. Within another 30 minutes he is gradually making his way up my thigh, and by the end of the next hour he is rubbing up and down my thighs as if he is trying to start a fire.
You just met me; knock it off with the groping!
Another thing, an hour into meeting is apparently the perfect time to lean in to try and kiss me?
Knock it off with this shit. You lean in for the kiss, and I am instantly put in the most uncomfortable position. I have to be the frigid bitch that blows you off or let you kiss me when I don't want you to. My favorite part is the look he gives you when you move his hand off your thigh or refuse his kiss. That look where he opens his eyes real wide and scan around the room, goosing their neck like they are asking some imaginary flock of bros to come up and agree with him that you are the most terrible bitch in the world.
I know, I know, you made conversation with me for a whole hour and are wondering where your award is?
News flash: If a woman wants to be touched, she will initiate it.
Pinot noir and Netflix never looked so good.