Personally, spending the holiday season single isn’t a big deal for me. In my 20s, it was a bigger deal since most of my friends were just starting to create their couples and I felt behind the curve. But now, as everyone is firmly in their couples, managing in-laws and kids during the holiday, this is prime time for me. I get to fly into town, do crafts, cookies, Christmas morning, all of the fun stuff with the little humans in my life and then fly out in time to have an adult New Year’s celebration. I definitely want my holidays to be filled with a husband and kids of my own at some point, for now, this time of year is fun for me with the commotion of everyone else’s family. And while meeting someone great is, well great - what happens when you meet them at the most inconvenient time of the year?
Time to Overthink this Through...
I’ve been accused of being a “serial dater” to which I just sort of laughed off - aren’t we all serial daters until we wed?
Since I am the expert here, if you ask me, meeting a potential bae in the spring is the ideal time. Spring is all about rejuvenation and feeling hopeful. The weather is getting warm enough for me to put my flannels away, I start to burn off some of that winter weight, and I actually want to leave my house.
Meeting someone right before the holidays is the worst time ever. Naturally, I assume this is when life will present my husband so that I can show him the very worst of myself first.
Let’s go there for a second and just assume you meet this really great man right before the holidays. What now?
First things first, figure out what his horoscope says about him. You can laugh if you want to. But, 90% of y’all have done this. I am super guilty of it myself. After you do your research on his birth chart and figure out where his venus lives, do not - I repeat, DO *NOT* do any of the following:
Don’t think too far ahead
When you are chatting with him over dinner don’t physically react as you do the math and realize that between him being gone for Thanksgiving, you being gone the month of December, there is no time to spend together. Definitely, do not yell out in a panic that you only have exactly 12 days to spend together before three weeks apart. And whatever you do, do not bring up New Year’s plans on your 3rd date. You’re already hoping you’ll be together, but attempt to keep some of the crazy at bay for a minute.
Don’t act starved for attention
Sure. He hasn’t given you a kiss in a week and it’s been a whopping 12 hours since he told you you’re beautiful. Don’t get passive aggressive about it. Deep breath. If you get desperate for an outlet, rehearse your break up speech. And I know you have one. Because if you don’t, you don’t like him that fucking much.
Don’t go overboard on a gift
IMO, unless you’ve been dating for more than four months, it’s too soon to be giving gifts. My logical, sober brain believes that. After a few glasses of wine, dropping a couple hundred on a gift that I think says ‘I like you, but it’s whatever’ seems like a great idea. It isn’t. Return it. It’s too soon.
Don’t call him crying about whatever family fight took place
We all have family drama. He does. You do. But wait until he is invested in you to let those family dysfunctions really shine. Once he is invested in you, it’s different. Your mom says something crazy over dinner, he realizes where you got your attitude from, and promises himself you won’t become her (mostly because he is in too deep to leave now). Everybody laughs and everything is fine.
Don’t get drunk and tell him you want to suck his dick
Ha! Just kidding. Do that. Drunken sexting is the best. Get creative with it too. But not too creative because he might want you to do that ish later.
Listen, you’re probably going to do all of these things anyways, but just give it the good college try and plan on not - let it be a surprise for both of you.