Anal Sex: You In?

WhosIts'N'WhatsIts

IDENTITY: Any | ATTRACTION: Any | EXPRESSION: Any | SEX: Any

Wondering what this is? Read about it


This article is going to include words like anus, penis, vagina, butt sex, rump shaker, and poop shoot. If that is going to be too much for you, don’t worry - I was TJK about poop shoot.

So, YOU want to have anal sex?

Do you? Do you really? Because it is important that YOU want this. You, the person who is being penetrated.

Your anus is designed to expel waste from your body. By embarking on an anal play adventure you are inserting an object(s) into the anus which is not what your ass is used to. This is in no way the opening for a lecture on the morality of anal sex. Personally, I believe if it’s consensual and feels good, play ball. And, in the right context, anal sex feels great.

It’s just that before we get to the feels great part, let’s acknowledge the other parts - Let’s accept that you are going to experience something new for your body.

What Does it Feel Like?

At first, it feels like you are pooping or going to poop. Which makes sense because pooping is the sensation your brain knows about your butt - something is in my butt, it is probably poop.

It is really important that you stay calm and keep your body relaxed while you acclimate to the new feeling. If you tighten up or clench you’re going to have a bad time. At first, it will likely be challenging for you to keep relaxed and that’s okay - this is new, take your time.

If you have had vaginal sex, this doesn’t feel the same as vaginal sex.

Unlike your vagina, your partner can’t really just push themselves into your butthole. The vagina is designed similar to an umbrella when an object is pushed into a vagina, the vagina expands and lubricates to accommodate. Your anus isn’t designed the same way. You are more likely to tear than expand to accept an object being shoved in fast or not lubed well enough.

Trust & Patience

Do you trust your partner?

And, I don’t mean in the ‘are they faithful to me’ type of way. I mean, can they be patient and attentive to how your body is reacting while you are going through this experience together?

You, the person being penetrated, are the most important partner in this situation. But, your partner has an important part to play in your safety and enjoyment in this experience.

If they can’t be patient and attentive or if you don’t feel comfortable, safe and supported, they aren’t the right partner for anal sex - and that’s okay, there are lots of other fun sexual things you can do together.

Have you talked to your partner about this?

Read the articles together. If you can’t talk about anal sex or research it together, my recommendation is to wait. Communication is key. If you can't talk about it don't do it.

You in to get it in the poop shoot *I lied*?

If not, that’s totally okay! The most important part is that you are happy with the choices you make with your body.

...If you are in, head to Part 2:  Let’s Talk About Prep Baby.