Many of us are headed into the holiday season single. If this is your story, don’t worry about it - you are nowhere alone in this.
Millennials, myself included, are choosing to couple much later in life than the generations before us.
In 2014, Gallup reported 64% of millennials are single, a definite rise from the generations before.
Like me, you probably have nosey ass relatives who like to ask questions that are none of their damn business. Such as, why don’t you have a boyfriend? Don’t you want kids? Are you sure you aren’t a lesbian?
The initial question usually starts off pretty harmless, something like ‘are you dating anyone?’ Then it transitions into accusations as they try to sort out what in the world is wrong with you that has led to your lack of couple status. Are you too much to handle? Are you working too much and not making time to meet people? Are your standards too high? Most of my family made the assumption long ago that I am some sort of ball-busting, man-eating, crazy lady who is pretty enough to attract men, but cannot keep them around. While there are fragments of this assessment that ring true, there are all sorts of ball-busting, man-eating, crazy ladies who are married. I’m just not one of them.
In preparation and solidarity for the upcoming holiday season, here are some options on how to handle questions from nosey family members and friends:
Option 1: Go full Kevin Hart on ‘em.
The pro, you’ll feel better. The con, you won’t feel better for very long.
Option 2: Deflect
This option goes something like this... Question Asker: Are you dating anyone? Response: I really love what you guys are doing with your house, are these new curtains?
The pro, if it works you get to avoid the whole conversation. The con, if it doesn’t work the questioner is about to extra grill your ass up with questions.
Option 3: Disengage
As soon as someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer or starts a conversation you don't want to be involved in, walk away.
The pro, no conversation, no problem. The con, there might be very few people left you can talk to and walking in circles around family gatherings can be exhausting.
Option 4: Be honest
The simplest, most honest answer I can give to this line of questioning is that I haven’t met someone who I wanted to marry and have kids with. I’ve met people who’ve had potential and after exploring that, they weren’t the right fit.
As with the Kevin Hart option, the pro is you’ll feel better. The con, you won’t feel better for very long.
No matter how you respond, you are likely going to be on the receiving end of more advice than you asked for. More advice than you needed. On the positive side, at least while you are talking about your inability to keep a man you aren’t talking about politics!